Ray Mac

Please..if you read this…let it be known that I put a lot of effort into this. This means a lot to me…so be easy on the comments if you do comment….OR I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKIN HEAD OFF!!! lol Nah, I’m just kidding…but I did put a lot of time and effort into this… You know what’s funny? I both despize and am glad that I have HIV. Why am I glad to have this fucking parasite in my body? I’d never have met the people I have, and gone through friendships I had. I would have never had such an open mind (race, sex, orientation, etc.), as well as a sweet and caring heart as so many people tell me I have. I’d never been able to experience some things…things that some people never have or get to experience in their life. Now for the other side. Not surprisingly, there’s quite a few reasons why I do hate this virus. Some of these reasons might get you thinking though, so read them carefully: I probably would still have my mom with me if it weren’t for HIV/AIDS. I have seen too many children die (not all from HIV, mind you, but also Cancer, Heart complications, Cystic Fibrosis, etc.) from being in the Ronald McDonald House** and the hospital. 3: Seeing the fear behind someone’s eyes when I tell them I have HIV. 4: Relationships…For some reason I never stay in one after I tell a girlfriend. Number 4 is a big sting to me, though, to be honest. I’ve been told by quite a few girls (and even some guys) that I’m cute/hot/handsome, whatever, and that I’m really confident, upbeat, and really cool to be around…So why is it that that changes when I tell them I have this virus inside me? I’ve only had two people in my life that stayed good friends with me after I told them, even continued talking to me when I did move away…And let me make this clear, it isn’t any of my parents. Does having this thing in me change who I am or how I act? No…Honestly, I don’t even understand why everyone is so afraid of it. Just because it’s a virus that’s been given a bad rep, doesn’t make it true..Look at me! Almost 21 years living with it and I’m perfectly healthy. Am I dying? No. Am I gonna die eventually? Yes….Of old age >. It’s ridiculous how people change their attitudes about you so quickly. Even my stepmom was scared of me at first. But a year later, she’s fine and treated me like one of her own kids. It’s not like you can get it by being close to me or even sharing the same restroom or bedroom with me. My levels are so low anyway, it’d be nearly impossible to get it from me. The only way to get it from me is through sex, and guess what? That’s what condoms were made for >..

Bullet For My Valentine-Tears Don’t Fall

Carpe Diem Quam Minimum Credula Postero
Horace (65 - 8 BC)